Eyesore
by hazygutters
Summary: Instances wherein Mitsuki Sarue manages to get inside Kisaki's head. oneshot/sort-off drabble.


**Summary: Instances wherein Mitsuki Sarue manages to get inside Kisaki's head. oneshot/sort-off drabble.**

 **Pairing: Kisaki/Sariel**

 **Disclaimer: Don't own Hataraku-Maou-sama.**

* * *

 **Eyesore**

 _by: smokymirages_

Few things can outright piss-off Mayumi Kisaki.

One is if she's having a bad hair day. Another is if her fellow employees aren't doing their assigned jobs right.

She's considering adding that damn midget to the list.

"Maou-kun? Can you please go her for a sec? It looks like that midget left something here- _again_ -and I need you to return it back to the sender."

When the third batch of a banquet of roses that day arrive inside her office on her work desk, she doesn't even bother anymore to read the message stuck on it and instead throws it in the near trash can.

* * *

Her cellphone rings one rainy Sunday afternoon, and she abruptly picks it up without even bothering to read the caller's I.D. She already knows who it is anyway.

"Mayumi, I can explain what happened, I'm _so_ sorry, this time please don't hang up on me-"

She hangs up.

After a while she sets her elbows upon the desk and buries her throbbing head on her hands.

* * *

"Is something bothering you, my fair goddess?"

If anything was right in the world, she hopes he catches her immense glare. It's a glare that usually manages to shut people up, and it is a look that is directly aimed at _him_ , but he doesn't flinch or even so much as blink. Instead, he gives her _that_ look in return which reminds her of lovesick puppies left out in the rain.

"Ah! Your unswerving and intense gaze upon me makes my little heart soar! Truly, someone as low as me is undeserving of unwavering presence such as yours, my shining goddess, my beacon of light, my source of strength, my-"

"What the hell are _you_ doing here?"

The damn midget was leaning over the counter, standing on the tips of his toes, donning on a black suit and wearing thick and tacky sunglasses and smelling like cheap cologne. She wrinkles her nose; he _reeked_. Glancing at his back, there was a long line of customers waiting for their turn to get their orders. If she wanted to get business running, she'd have to get rid of him fast.

"Why, I wanted to see how my Juliet was doing. As I have written in my letter attached to the roses I had specially delivered to you, I promised that the next time I was going to visit here, it would be to wholeheartedly declare my ever-lasting love for you, for I cannot hide nor suppress these burning feelings for you any longer."

She frowns. She hadn't read his message the last time he gave her a banquet of roses since she already threw it out the backyard dumpster without even sparing a second look.

"It's not as though you're trying to hide your so-called "feelings" for me, Sarue-san. And you've declared your love for me enough. Now, can you please get out of the store? Your strong scent is throwing off some of our customers, and if you're here for reasons other than to order or buy our food, then I suggest you leave now…"

"To see my goddess work so hard makes my heart clench. I admire your resiliency and determination."

"Sarue-san…" Kisaki exasperatedly says.

"Ah, having my name be spoken from the lips of an angel such as yourself is too much! I am too undeserving of this kind treatment. To be treated like this by a divine being such as you gives me eternal bliss. The Moon is nothing compared to _you_ , a shining vessel of bright radiance and unrequited compassion."

 _Wasn't that supposed to be someone like God?_ She thinks warily. Kisaki wants to strangle him right now even if it is against work rules.

"Aren't you supposed to be on-duty right now as a cashier?"

"Being beside you is infinitely more important than a petty job as a worker to a fast-food chain restaurant."

 _Oh really?_ She thinks drily as her hands clenches and she could feel a vein throbbing in her head. " _How_ the hell did _you_ manage to become a manager with that kind of attitude then?!"

"As I have stated before, that is not important. Even if I am not worthy, to bask in your holy presence and to be by your side is the greatest blessing I could ever wish for. That is why I am here to relay my message to you: oh my sweet goddess, my Persephone, my love from another world, let us elope and practice our forbidden love away from the prying eyes of the people and even Heaven itself, who all want to zealously tear us star-crossed lovers apart from each other. Come, my sweet goddess, let us make haste and escape this horrible place!"

"Hurry up! What the heck are you doing there?! You're taking too much of our time!" A person from the line shouted. Several in line also started to complain at once.

"Silence, you insufferable and worthless vermin!"

The vein throbbing in her head was aching more and more. "If you don't get out now, then I'll have to request one of my personnel to throw you out." She calls out, "Maou-kun! Come here for a while."

Instantly, Maou's head peeks out from the employees' room. He looks at her a bit warily; she feels a little bad for disturbing him during his break time. "What is it, Kisaki-san? Chi-chan and I were just chatting since it was my turn to change shifts…" his voice drowns out when he notices the blue-haired midget conspicuously leaning over the counter. His face immediately morphs into shock and annoyance as he glances at Sarue, and it was such a comical expression that Kisaki would've laughed if she wasn't feeling so aggravated. Sarue, in turn-for some _reason_ -curls his lips in apparent disgust as he stares at Maou Sadao.

"Sariel!"

"I almost forgot that the Dark Lord himself was working here…now I see why business for MgRonald's isn't booming right now. No one wants to eat in a place where the Dark Lord is up and thriving, posing as a loyal employee, even though in truth he just wants to conquer those poor souls as he regains his power once more to return to Ente Isla."

"Are you crazy, you perverted angel? Have you gone blind with those sunglasses? Look around you. There are dozens of customers flocking to our store. And I'm not just working my ass off to pretend as a worker or whatever. _And_ speak for yourself; as if _you're_ not pretending to be a cashier manager at Sentucky's."

"Words spoken by the Dark Lord himself mean nothing to me. I pity my hard-working goddess for she is forced to have you as her fellow employee. She deserves so much more."

"What? So you're telling me that a perverted angel like you could do better? Don't make me laugh! By the way, I've heard from a trusty acquaintance that Sentucky isn't doing so well."

"I will never heed a foul being's words. Begone from our sight! I have come here for my divine and beautiful goddess, not _you_."

"Say what you want. Just remember that my men and I will beat Sentucky's sales this month. Your fortress doesn't stand a chance against ours."

Kisaki doesn't understand why they're suddenly speaking nonsensical gibberish, but what she does understand is that there are rows of impatient customers waiting out front who didn't come to MgRonald's for this crap. She sighs.

"Sarue-san, can we please continue this somewhere else? You can disturb-I mean, _converse_ with me another time," she shudders inwardly at her own words, because there is _no way in hell_ she would start a conversation with him, "and look behind you. You're not exactly helping our business here. You're not the only customer we have. I'm asking-no, I'm _ordering_ you to get out of the store."

He stares at her creepily for a while before suddenly taking her hand and gripping it rather hardly. "I _promise_ you, I would come for you again-even if it is tortuous, wait for me a little while longer. I will save you," he glares briefly at Maou, "from this vile demon's clutches. I know that it is a sin to make a goddess such as you wait, but if my divine punishment is to be struck by lightning right here and now, then I will gladly take it, just to be in your embrace."

" _What_ the _hell_ are you talking about?" She yanks her hand back forcefully from his hard grasp. Taking a step back, she scowls at him scornfully, a mixture of disgust and bewilderment written on her face.

"My Juliet, these unrequited feelings for you will never-"

As Maou forces him out of MgRonald's, she massages her aching hand. Her mind is elsewhere even when Maou returns, muttering something about perverted angels and making more stock sales than Sentucky's this month.

That damn blue-haired midget.

* * *

.

.

.

She's returning home from work. It's already near midnight and she feels tired and weary and aching all over (more than usual). She could really use a long-needed nap right now.

But she has to prepare dinner for herself first. She mentally lists the number of things she should do. Get the chicken out of the freezer, boil water, wash and rinse the vegetables thoroughly…

It's too much work, and she settles instead on buying pre-made and re-heatable curry from the local 24-hour convenient store right off the block. At least she wouldn't have to put too much effort. And then she would get her much-needed sleep.

(And most importantly, that _midget_ didn't come visit her for nearly two weeks. It was a first; _Thank God_ -she thinks before she berates herself for even thinking about _him_.)

Suddenly, she stops walking towards her apartment complex. A disturbing feeling creeps up to her gut and spine. Someone-or _something_ -is following her. If she'd scream for help, there was no one in sight to help her right now in case she needed any assistance to fight her pursuer off.

Trying frantically to remember what pocket where she hid her small pepper spray inside her bag (instead of thinking of flashers and molesters who were reported to prowl this certain area in town to catch unsuspecting victims during late night) she reaches inside her bag as she slowly turns around to spray the hell out of whoever-or _whatever_ -is following her. If the pepper spray doesn't work-which she's hoping that _wouldn't_ happen-then she could use her practiced karate during her early high school days into use. If all things fail, then she's praying that she could land a single mean hit to his nuts; if she could just give him a hard kick to the groins…

With this in mind, she sends a prayer to kami-sama above (for the first time in a long while) and prepares herself when she turns around…

…to see a figure clad in black, shifting unnaturally like shadows and almost blending in the dark.

Instantly her reflex action starts and she's already whipping out her trusty pepper spray without thinking about it too much. She sprays as hard as she can.

"Ow-ow-"

His voice is somewhat familiar. Good. Maybe she could utilize this knowledge when she reports to the police later…

" _Ow-ow-_ please stop, my fair goddess, it hurts- _ahhh_!"

She _knows_ this voice.

She immediately stops spraying and sets her pepper spray down; cautiously, _slowly_ -and stares at the man in front of her.

It's Mitsuki Sarue.

She stares at him in complete and utter bewilderment. For a second she feels instant relief because it's _just_ him and not some random pervert, but her defensive senses shackles up when she remembers who exactly _he_ is.

"S-Sarue-san? What…what the… _you_ …what _exactly_ are _you_ doing here, _you_ _damn midget_?!"

To his credit, the blue-haired man straightens up with as much dignity as he can muster while clutching his left eye tightly. "Now I have to wear sunglasses for _both_ my eyes- _ow_!" he grumbles, but instantly perks up upon noticing her glaring down at him with an expression of mixed confusion and irritation. "Why, my goddess, I was just-"

"You were just _what_? Waiting to spring out and _attack_ me?"

"No, _no_ -I was doing my duty to you. Staying by your side. I wouldn't even think of doing anything that could harm you," he said while slowly uncovering his injured eye and squinting up at her as though clearly seeing her for the first time, his eyes slowly adjusting. She figures that she should say at least _sorry_ , but the thought quickly diminishes from her mind when she looks at him, and frustration eventually wins over her pity.

"Staying by my side my ass."

" _Really_ , I was just following you in order to protect you from people with bad intentions and evil plans…"

"Why do I get the feeling that _you're_ the one I should be protected from…"

"…and following you was the most easiest way to confirm your safety and for me to be in close range to save you straightaway incase you happen to be unfortunately placed upon a dangerous situation." _So stalking her was a way to ensure her safety? And why did he have to dress up suspiciously so much like some kind of thief in the dark, prowling out on the streets?_

"Following me? If I hadn't known better, I would've thought you were _stalking_ me," she sarcastically spats out. "And every situation involving you is life-threatening to my health; it causes me too much stress," she mutters frustratingly.

"Your words wound me so, my goddess. Surely you didn't think so lowly of me…"

"I'm glad you know. Stalking an innocent woman is an all-time low, even for _you_."

"I wouldn't even _dare_ think about doing anything that offends you so. Please don't misunderstand or misinterpret my purest of intentions."

 _Yeah, yeah, whatever, you damn midget…_

She turns her back on him without even looking back. She didn't have enough energy to argue with him. "I'm going home now. If you even _try_ to stalk me again, I swear I'll do more than pepper-spray you. You'll see my judo-flipping skills." She abruptly walks away.

"He doesn't deserve someone as lovely as you."

She stops in her tracks. "What?" Her heart almost stops.

"What I mean is that someone as unfit him is not worth your precious tears, and certainly unworthy to be beside your presence." His voice wasn't annoyingly poetic or extravagant anymore.

"What are you…"

"Let's just say that I have a special way of knowing intense human emotions." As though _he_ _wasn't_ _human_.

When she quickly turns around, he is gone before she could even blink.

Her steps unconsciously stagger a bit when she goes home. When she is about to sleep, she tries hard not to think about the way he glowed like an ethereal being under the streetlamp. Creepy. She shifts under her comforter, ignoring the way her heart keeps on thudding.

After all, she'd have to get all the hours of sleep she could for tomorrow.

* * *

The following morning, a banquet of freshly-picked roses lay dormant and conspicuous on her work desk.

She's about to call one of the MgRonald staff members to throw it out the trash but stops.

Kisaki reconsiders keeping the roses instead until it completely dries up and withers.

* * *

 **a/n: when I browsed through hataraku maou-sama (love this show btw) fanfics, I was a little disappointed to see that there were no kisaki/sariel fics although there were tons of lucifer x oc and even a few alsiel x emi's friend rika. This pairing is one of the funniest (somewhat crack-ish) anime couples I have ever seen. I started this off as a short drabble but it suddenly became 2,700+ words (lol). I hope fanfic authors would start to write more about this crazy pairing.**

 **As extra notes: kisaki's ex-boyfriend/lover is just a minor plot device in this story and therefore isn't canon. Also, the timeline of this story shifts and at one point time-skips to two weeks (incase you're confused). Maou also somehow mentions to Kisaki that the blue-haired midget is Sentucky's current manager, but doesn't reveal anything other than that about him (ex: being a nuisance to Maou, being an angel, etc).**

 **P.S: Please review! It would make my day.**


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